Souda and Hanamura's Sexy Off
by mr.matthew1223
Summary: Souda has challenged Hanamura in a "sexy off", who ever is so sexy they can make a certan guy go gay for them. Hunamura has been tasked to target Togami, will Togami go gay for Hanamura, or will he feel more? HanamuraxTwogami crackship
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to this crackship fic. I got the idea from a friend a few days ago who I will keep aynomies, but big thanks to her. Anyway hope you enjoy the fic**

It was a hot day in Jabberwok Island, all the students where in the hotels restraint like every other morning. Everyone was doing as they normally did, Nanami playing her games, Gundam telling he tall tales, and Hanamura hitting on the ladies.

Today Hanamura was trying to flirt with Soina "You remember that poison effecting my lower body the other day? Well I think it has gotten worse, for I think I am swelling even more down their. I think I can trust you to suck it out before it's to late, can you do that Soina?" the cook asked of the blonde princess as he combed his hair, in hopes of looking more handsome.

"Why of course I can Hanamura-san! However how will I know when the poison has come out?" She asked naïvely.

With a grin entered the Hanamura's face "Why, you"ll notice when-" The chubby cook was cut off by a pink haired man in a yellow jumpsuit, slamming his hands on the table they where sitting on. It was none other than Souda.

Souda's pink eyes were filled with rage and envy towards the Super High School Level Cook. His fists thightened and sharp teeth grinding each other. "Come with me Porky, I want to have a talk with you."

Hanamura got nervous at the mad mechanic, he felt a hostile aura around him. Combing his hair faster the self-proclaimed chef said "Can't you see beautiful Soina here was going to help me get poison out of me."

"Poison my ass." Souda said getting Hanamura and started to drag off. As this was happening the chubby cook was panicking and screaming like a girl as he was dragged.

"Souda-san, let go of poor ill Hanamura-san!" Soina ordered the mechanic.

"Sorry Soina, this is for your own good." Souda said as he started to go down the stairs to go to the lobby of the hotel.

Once the two got to the lobby and Souda let go of his grasp off the perverted cook. As the chef was released from the mechanic's grasp a serious of questions spewed out of his mouth as he was sweating like crazy. "What the hell? What was that for? Was it because I was hitting on Soina? I'm so, so sorry, I can explain, you see-" Souda raised his hand cutting him off.

"Hanamura, I am sick of what you're doing, hitting on every girl like they where some in of tool. This especially pisses me off when you try to do it to Soina, a princess. She deserves true care and love, not your perverted way of thinking. I bet you're the most sexiest person in this island don't you? That you can pick up and girl you like? Well then I got a challenge for you Chubby."

"C-challange?" Hanamura nervously repeated.

"Yeah, that's right, a challenge. My challenge is to see who is really sexier. Whoever is SO sexy, they can make a man gay for you!"

"W-what?! No, no I won't do that would be silly!"

"Oh, I haven't told you the prize yet. If you win, you can have dibs on any of the girls on this island."

Hanamura pondered about that for a few seconds while combing his hair nervously. "Ok, I will, but you have to do it too."

"Fine." Souda agreed "We also choose each other's targets."

"I guess that's fair."

"Because I have to choice, you have to go after Togami."

"What?! Why him, he's not even hot as a guy!" Hanamura said feeling this was all rushing past him as Souda snickered at his reaction. "Fine then, you have to go after Gundam!"

Souda's snickering stopped as Hanamura gave him his target. A sigh left his mouth knowing he couldn't do anything about it now "Ok fine, you have Togami and I have Gundam. Now all we need are judges."

"Judges?"

"Yeah, to be like a witness to see if one of use succeed. Now it's got to be people with no basis towards either of us and experienced in this kind of gay like stuff... Wait, I know who we need!" an exsieted grin spread on Souda's face as he went up a few steps "YO, HINATA! KOMAEDA!" Souda yelled out.

It didn't take long till the duo walked down the stairs "Souda, what's with you today? Why did you drag Hanamura down here?" Hinata asked with a very concerned voice.

"Look, we need you two do us a little favor."

Hinata simply replied with "Nope." and started going back up stairs.

"Come on Hinata."

"Nope!"

"It's for the hope of the island."

After that Komaeda's eyes had a twinkle of light as he went up to stop Hinata "Wait, Hinata-kun! We must do this, for the sake of hope!"

"NOPE!" Hinata was just done. He had experience with being Souda's forced wing-man a few times, Komaeda and hope didn't make it any better.

"But Hinata, it's for hope!" Komaeda argued.

"No, I am not dealing with your hope nor Souda's crazy plans."

Komaeda knew he could not convince Hinata. Out of no where, Komaeda lifted Hinata down the stairs saying "FOR HOPE!"

When the two boys got back to the bottom Hinata, and others, where very confused "Holly shit! Where did that come from?"

"The power of hope, Hinata-kun, the power of hope."

"Ok, anyway about that favor thing you where talking about." Hinata said never wanting to talk about Komaeda's 'hope power' again.

"Right," Souda said feeling the same as Hinata "So basically me and Hanamura here are going to have a sexy off as it where. Who ever is so sexy they can make a certain guy gay has dibs on any girl on the island. Basically we need someone to watch both of us to witness if one of us are the winner." the mechanic explained.

"I see, so one of us will observe the one of you two." Komaeda summed up.

"Right, so if you don't mind let's get tarted Hinata." Souda said walking up to Hinata

"W-wait! What if I want to be with Hinata?" Hanamura asked, not wanting to be near Komaeda and his twisted talk of hope.

"Well I picked him first, you know first come first serve."

"But that's unfair!"

"Guys, guys," Komaeda stopped the two "I know I am only trash and neither you want to be with me, so why don't we settle it with some good ol' fashion luck?" the luckster said as he pulled a coin out of his coat pocket. He gave the coin a flip and covered it once it landed on the back of his hand. "Heads for Hinata goes to Souda, tails he goes to Hanamura." He said before lifting his hand to show it was tails.

Hanamura gave a sigh of relief, at least he wasn't going to do this insane challenge with a hope crazed man.

"Damn it." Souda said as the hope filled student walked to the pink haired mechanic.

"It's ok Souda, just keep hope and you'll woo any man you need to!"

"I swear you are my saving grace here, Hinata." Hanamura said walking to him.

"Well it's better than being forced to be Souda's wing-man." Hinata said just not wanting to be apart of this whole bet.

"Well then Hanamura, may the bet began, to see who's the sexiest!"

**Hope you have enjoyed the first chapter of this fic, I thank you for reading this. Please review and give constructive critsum.**


	2. Chapter 2

It had been about an hour after Souda had challenged Hanamura and the cook didn't really know how to dygest it all. One minute he was hitting on a princess, the other a pink hired punk challenged him to a "sexy off". Hanamura was still in the lobby, sweating and combing his hair nervously just mumbling to himself "I can't belive this. This isn't happening."

Hinata couldn't help to feel pity for the guy. Granet he wasn't a fan of his pervertedness, yet he could sympathises with being forced into things thanks to Souda. "Hey Hanamura," he said to try to bring the chef back to reality. "look I understand what our going through. Souda makes me do stupid things that he rushes me through. Maybe nothing this stupid, but I understand your point of view."

Hanamura was startled by Hinata from his nervous state "But this is too redicoulas, it can't actually be happening. Souda's just joking, I know it." he said in denial.

"No, he's serious. He tends to be that way, especially around Sonia. Although the guy's hopeless, he knows he's got no chance with a princess. Hell, I'd say you have a better chance with her than Souda does." Hinata told Hanamura knowing Souda was a just Romeo.

"Would you say my chances are high enough to seduce her?"

"I said you had a better chance, I never said they where high. The only person I think you can properly seduce is Owari, and she'd just be with you for your food."

"Well Owari isn't bad at all. She's got a nice big rack. I wouldn't mind making her some nice sweet-"

Hinata cut Hanamura off not wanting to hear his perverted fantasy. "Anyway I think you should be working on what you can do to get Togami."

"Hhhmm, well he is a big guy, so maybe he likes fine food, and lots of it. Yet again he often seems jealous of thinner people like you Hinata. However I also know you are sorta close to Togami, so maybe you can do me a favor or two to win him over?"

"Sorry, but I'm only here to act as a judge, I'm not going to do anything more. The less I have to do for Souda the better." Hinata said to maybe save himself from any more crazy antics from Souda's bet. "Also, about Togami, I don't know him that much. We talk every know and then, makes me do a little work every now and then, but nothing overly specal."

"I see..." Hanamura started to think to himself about what he could do about this.

"Maybe you should start out trying to be friends with Togami. I mean see if you actually have a chance, learn what he likes, you know basic stuff." Hinata suggested.

"You know, that might just work. Maybe I can ask him to cook with me. I tend to learn more about people in the kitchen." Hanamura said feeling confident that he could at least learn about Togami then and see what kind of guy he is before approaching.

"There you go, next time he has a meting with us ask him after words."

Hanamrua started to walk proudly towards the stairs to the restraint "usually I like to cook with women, yet today will be different. Get ready to love this body, Byakya Togami!" Hanamura said as he walked up the stairs.

"At least he's a determened pervert." Hinata said with a small smile as he walked up the stairs behind the now confident Hanamura.

However on the beach Souda and Komaeda where forming their game plan as well.

Souda was pacing back and forth in front of the small waves on the sore. "Think, think, think." He kept repeating trying to think how he could get Gundam. He thought he had the right body to seduce, yet he knew that wouldn't be enough.

Komaeda was sitting on a near by rock brainstorming himself "I've got an idea. You know how Gundam likes his hamsters? Maybe you can make little cars for them to ride." he suggested.

The mechanic just gave Komaeda a wired look before asking "Why the hell would I do that?"

"You got to admit that would be pretty cute. I mean four little hamsters driving tiny cars! Animal lovers like Gundam are suckers for those things."

"No, no that wouldn't work. He'd be like 'how dear you insult the dark gods for having them drive such pity transportation'." Souda said lowering his voice trying to mock the animal breeder.

"Well how about raise a pet."

"Where would I get a pet in this empty island?"

"I'm sure there are some fish here. I bet they could be really nice looking and exotic."

"Yeah, I like that." Souda said nodding in agreement.

"Alright, let's go to the Rocketpunch and get a fish bowl and some fishing rods." Komaeda said as both started walking out of the beach starting their plan A.

**Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed the chapter. Constructive Crtitisum is always a nice thing to see, it could help how the story is written.**


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